I've lost control of myself

I've lost it. I've lost control of my will power....

Was pretty angry for my friend-colleague who told me about how her husband had cheated on her. I was thinking about what bastards men can be....and then after that...I headed down to Toa Payoh instead of going straight home to ermmm.....hopefully run into SOMEONE there.

Of course, SOMEONE was having classes and all I bumped into, was his car at the carpark. Strange thing is, I went to Toa Payoh, parked my car near to his, went to NTUC to grab (I paid of course..) a couple of things that I don't really need and fled before he came out of his class.

Strange things people do out of..........infatuation??

I think I'm beginning to lose control of myself in general. It's just like in kickboxing class when one will start throwing the body around instead of taking control and aim the kick or punch wherever one aims.

At work, I blab a lot of rubbish to my "girls", which is really beginning to tarnish the professional image that I had tried hard to maintain in the past. Am I letting go of myself and juz throwing myself into the open sea just to see if I sink or float?

Perhaps one day, I would find myself again...