Purpose

I worked for more than 20 hours straight yesterday. My bosses didn't grill me to do that, I did it out of my own accord.

I was performing night duty on Friday night, and I caught some girls misbehaving. I stayed back after my shift so that I could discipline them. To my disappointment, none of them admitted that they ever misbehaved. I really felt all my hopes evaporating and disappointment set in. They are still so young and they could already look at me straight in the eye and cry and whatever, saying that I had accused them of something that they had never done blah blah blah. Then, I grew silent - not because I ran out of things to scold or advise but suddenly, I felt tired. Not only tired from the night shift but tired of listening to inmates lying in my face.

My colleague helped me through this, she herself was also affected. She had spoken to the same group of inmates, and each told her a different story. Finally, she gave up and told them that they ought to be grateful that Mdm Boey stayed back after her night duty to speak to them. At least she bothers to try to point out their mistakes and not let them parish. That if they prefer officers to just lock and unlock their doors, then we could jolly well do it to them. Then, even the most hardcore of them admitted to her mistakes.

Apparently, I was a little too fierce in my approach and she was afraid of admitting - afraid of getting her friends into trouble too. I rest my case...and retreated into my office to submit a report against the whole bunch.

After that, my colleagues and I went out for lunch-cum-dinner. It was the first time the 3 of us came out together, since we're all from different shifts on regular days. At that point in time, I felt that I would miss such moments if one of us were to quit or be posted out. 1 Housing Unit, and it was just the 3 of us. I should have been happy to have such nice colleagues around me...and yet in the beginning, I complained and bitched and begged to be posted out. I think I miss them already....I think I'll never have such a combination of colleagues again....

The 24-hour shift left me feeling tired and haggard. I felt like I've aged a couple of years...feeling mentally and physically exhausted. Think I need another long break.....